So, this just happened this morning (few hours ago exactly). It might sound ridiculous but I did, and yeah kinda embarrassing… but whatever. Well story is, I just got HUMILIATED in front of the class (technically half of my classmates were late *yeah they came just after me* so they were in the library making 40-80 questions of multiple choices complete with the answers which is almost IMPOSSIBLE unless you’re fricking Jimmy Neutron bc there was only 60 mins left as punishment, like wth man).
I was late for 6 mins, and this part is PROBABLY MY FAULT bc I just sneaked in without permission (actually the teacher was outside) and I wore jacket and forgot my hair was kind of free loose. And dang dang THE TEACHER CAME IN AND GODDAMN SLAPPED MY ARM WITH A FREAKING BOOK WITH A POWER OF MAMA-KONG. Heck. It seriously hurts ‘til now. Anyway, I can still accept that because I was late.
But here it comes again, he took a seat beside me (cuz my friend, who shares the same table as me was late also so she was gone) and I just got this feeling that I was in great danger. He pointed out how my nails are so long & making fun of it with some dirty joke (man this is beyond my acceptance) so I automatically snap “how about you, sir? Have you acted politely? You were using your phone while teaching, acting like a boss…” although I wasn’t sure he heard the “boss” part. And by that I just unintendedly challenged him in some epic arguments which I surrendered. I nodded in very good manner like a holy princess from England. But he kept babbling, he made it like I was such an IDIOT. I COULD CLEARLY SEE HE MISUNDERSTOOD MY TRICKY QUESTION AS AN ACT OF REBELLION.
* he just can’t let bygones be bygones eh?*
HE ASKED IF I HAVE A DREAM. I was like “what was he planning?” but innocently said that I wanna be a designer. And he was like “designer?” with a SENSE OF SARCASM (I could clearly feel that!) He probably thought that I’m just like the other ordinary kids that will be ‘nobody’
*congratulation, sir. You just tried to kill my precious identity*
“When others demand that we become the people they want us to be, they force us to destroy the person we really are. It’s a subtle kind of murder … Society commit this murder with smiles on its face.” – unknown.
*guess you don’t know I have more than 200 trophies stored at home for my skill* A-strict-narrow-minded-biology-teacher will never ever understand why I be in a science class and so do I if it wasn’t for the low quality of education in my school (honestly all of my friends don’t understand too).
I draw. I put all my effort in my drawing, and I have this dream of becoming a designer. It might seem unimportant. But AS A TEACHER YOU CANNOT PULL THAT KIND OF SMILE FULL OF DISDAIN just because I have this dream I want to reach. And NO. I didn’t feel a slightest of fear. I was full of anger I wanted to cry and throw this Hitler kind of teacher to a bunch of sharks. There were so many things I wanted to say I kept it bottled up inside. He looked down on me. He said that I have INTELLECTUAL DEVIATION for my bad skill in Balinese.
Wow. How sweet. At least I aint gonna turn to be like you. Spending the rest of your life with troubled teenagers, going to work from Monday to Saturday. Yeaa enjoy that exciting routinely. I bet you don’t like to be a teacher. (I’m sorry if I offense the profession of teacher here, but I mention a specific individual not all teachers) And nah Idgad school ends in a month anyway.
And I knew it he was picking on me. Like he just gave me less than 15mins to do the task and explain EVERYTHING to the whole class. I’m lack of confidence and I’m no this know-it-all kid who can pull amazing theories in science. What you expect from me? I can’t even remember a single formula in chemistry. I couldn’t answer the questions, so he was like “minus 5 for you” he said it like… nothing. I bravely spoke against this “This is not fair, sir. You gave less than 15 mins and bombarded me with such questions and tell me to draw human’s lungs, heart and pulmo. You can’t do this.” Seriously I wonder how all of my friends can show tolerance towards his nonsense.
Ha. And you know how he responded? “use your creativity, a designer use their heads” fuck man I’m done this is bullshit “a student from science class shouldn’t draw something based on their ideas, they used fact” there he was being annoying again. He turned everything I said into wrong judgements. Making countless unreasonable excuses. And, holy mother of god thank you the bell rang before shit got real. I mean I will express whatever I think it’s right, I won’t go as far as challenging the most terrifying teacher in the entire school without a base of justify. I know I did it without reading the mood which caused this conflict.
I know I’m a prick I have this sense of pride in what I do. I’m a lazy bum who lacks a life but I can’t let a single person who looks down in my creation be like that. The thing is I am not like ordinary kids. IN FACT, EVERY KIDS ARE NO ORDINARY. I came to terms with not fitting in a long time ago, so what? I am an INFP, and I am an artist (even im still amateur). Not that I’m being arrogant but I have a high sense of honor from my internal value and I ADMIT I AM BEING SELFISH HERE. I do see myself as an unique individual with a special blend of skills.
As Alexander McQueen said “People find my things sometimes aggressive. But I don’t see it as aggressive” in my way; all the ranting that I’m writing right now is purely the way my mind speaks. Last thing I wanna say; I pray to God your kid aint going into depression for having a tyrannical father. And no I don’t feel any regrets; nobody likes you, sir. Someone should’a given you a bitch slap for being irrational. But dem et d’you even respect my dream, sir?